Monday, February 9, 2009

Remove the Word "Don't" from Your Vocabulary

Have you noticed how children's brains gloss right over the word "don't."

You say, "Don't touch the hot stove."

Your toddler hears "Touch the hot stove."

You say, "Don't cross the road."
Your preschooler hears "Cross the road."

You say, "Don't hit your brother."
Guess what your child does? He whacks his brother across the head.

Typical "parent talk" is loaded with negative words; don't, stop, quit that, knock it off, cut it out ...


Yet, the more the negative words are used, the weaker in meaning they become. Our children tend to just tune us out the negative words.

Children often learn limits better if parents tell a child what to do, rather than what not to do.

Instead of.... "Don't touch the hot stove"
Try.... "The stove is hot. It could hurt if you touch it."

Instead of.... "Don't cross the road"
Try.... "Play in the yard, not in the street."

Instead of.... "Don't hit your brother"
Try.... "Talk to your brother and tell him what you want."

Changing communications will take some practice but the effort will pay off. Try it and see.

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