Handling Anger Outbursts - Part Deux

As you can see, our angry boy from last Monday followed us to this post. Last week we talked about things to do and not to do while you are in the midst of a temper explosion. Now let's talk about what to do once the tornado passes.

Once the tantrum subsides and your child calms down, it is time to rebuild. Offer a drink of water. Reaffirm that there is nothing wrong about feeling angry. Discuss what caused the outburst and how to resolve that specific issue. Once the specific issue is resolved, discuss ways express anger more productively in the future.

If your child has a tantrum in public, use the same techniques as you would in private. Do try to move your child to a more secluded spot so that you can focus on remaining calm until the tantrum subsides. If your approach changes when there is an audience, your child might choose public settings to throw future tantrums. Also, remember that you are not seeking approval from those around you on how well you handled the situation.

As important as handling a tantrum when it occurs is finding out how you can try to avoid circumstances in the future that might trigger another outburst. Keeping the child's environment calm and free of hectic changes helps reduce the chances of your child responding in hectic ways. Tantrums often occur when a child is tired or frustrated. Providing extra attention when your child appears tense might head off an outburst.

If your child responds poorly to schedule changes, prepare him in advance and explain why a schedule must be interrupted. The easiest way to prevent tantrums when a child's request is denied is by not giving in to tantrums.